The Dogtown Diaries are copyright Colin Jones 2009.

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So this is what I remember… 

Ex-members of supergroups the Self-Ingesting Cheerleaders and Bitumen Waste got together just before Theta Williams, lead singer with the Plus Fours, fell into his coma. Half-rumor and vibrant speculation insisted that there was some shadow of a meta-plot, but this was generally dismissed as jealous tomfoolery. 

With the Plus Fours off the reality wagon The Vague Machine could clean up bigtime bonzo. They had a number of hits in the last sad days of the Tranquil Generation movement, but their lead singer Ron Tomorrow had started dipping into bad alpha. He slipped out of view sometime just before the first Hipster War. Word has it that he used his considerable royalties to start up some sort of manufacturing plant in Zero Valley, but so many cookies crumbled into the stratosphere in those days that any stab at a half-fact meets with the hollow doom of glee. 

Like they say, if you can even remember there was a Tranquil Generation you’re probably in the wrong timeslot. I guess we’ll have to wait for TV to tell the true story. 

Anyway, the remaining members of The Vague Machine sold the rights to the name to a local lifestyle dominance company, who have furiously branded an infinite product line since then. These are the cacklers that Billy Hologram is fleeting with.